Listening Exercise: Profiles with Tara II
An Interview with Lundy Bancroft, author of
"Why Does He Do That? Inside The Minds Of Angry And Controlling Men"
Click here to listen to the interview; if this link doesn't work well, click here.
(You need only listen to the second half of the interview for this exercise)

Vocabulary:

on the woman's side
letting her know what's going on
primary client
in a sense
safety and well-being
to affect
partner
on your side
to do a good job
100% behind you
to demand
techniques
to create confusion
to work out better for
to cover up
little by little
to tear down
self-confidence
to chip away at
to undermine
independence
to drive wedges in
sources of support
to be alert for
manipulation
isolation
myths
drugs and alcohol
to pin hopes on s.t.
sober
pot = marijuana
in practice
substance = illegal drug
to overcome
insecurities
substance abuse
lousy childhood
majority
as children
excuse
to hide behind s.t.
jealous
possessive
to attempt to
to escalate
frightening
to ruin		 reputation
violent
terrifying
owned object
extreme
ownership
uncommon
apparently
to get it down to a
number of types
to put a finite number on
styles
to add in
to identify
to take you through
drill sergeant
over the top
right in your face
minute control freak
to keep an eye on
victim
to play up
hard life
to feel sorry for
to turn out
'The Player'
to cheat on s.o. with s.o.
to settle down
to be really good at
to get away with a lot
sexual relationship
terrorist
to figure out
to hunt s.o. down
to reach out for help
verbally
physically
at high/low levels
hotline
support group
to break through the isolation
to take the leap
clergy person
critical
success rate
to get on the right track
substantial		 to be stuck in one's ways
to do work on oneself
luxurious
exploiter
monster
to be in a rut
sorta
to stick it out to the end
to kick s.o. out of s.t.
To confront
to see some signs (that)
to bully s.o.
To take s.o. through
list
faking
to face the reality
a history of being abusive
to give up
privileges
to plead
to beg
appointment
to get oneself down to a meeting
to stand up for oneself
enabler
limit
strength
the (x) route
to put your foot down
consciously
unconsciously
to heal
to creep up on one
to realize
to be chopped out from under one
to hypnotize
to undermine
to doubt oneself
to crawl inside
identity theft
on her own
tough
destructive
likely
to undo
to keep up = to continue
audience

Listening comprehension questions:
1. What does Bancroft say is important for counselors who are working with abusive men?
2. What are two of the techniques an abusive man uses on a woman?
3. What do women often try to do with abusive men who use drugs and alcohol?
4. On what basis does Bancroft say a bad childhood and insecurity are not the real reason behind abuse?
5. What is a 'minute control freak'?
6. What happens with the 'victim' type of abuser?
7. What does a 'player' do?
8. How can a woman get away from a 'terrorist'?
9. What is the number in Arabic numerals of the national hotline for abused women?
10. Who are some of the people Bancroft encourages abused women to talk to about their problem?
11. How likely is it that an abusive man will change and overcome his abusiveness, and what is the reason for this?
12. What will Bancroft do if an abusive man in his program does not seem to be improving?
13. What does not work in getting an abusive man to improve?
14. What proverb does Bancroft quote in referring to abusive men and their motivation to change?
15. What's the best way for a woman to 'stand up to' an abusive man?
16. What's an 'enabler', and why can an abused woman not really be an 'enabler'?

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